And that's why it's funny...

There's a kid at Extended Care, his name is David and he's maybe 8 or 9. At Extended Care before we can go have snack, we like to pass the time by telling jokes or singing what has become MY song - "On Top Of Spaghetti". David came up with a few jokes that were just so completely nonsensical and not funny that I felt compelled to tell him so. It went like this.

David: Why...why...why di... why did the cow jump over the baseball field?
Me: Why, David?
David: Cuz... cuz he wa.... cuz he wanted a good run home... WITH MEAT!
Me: David... that's not funny.
David: Yeahhh he wanted to run home.. run home with meat!
Me: No... David, that's just not funny.
David: Can I tell another one?
Me: Sure.
David: Why di... why did the goat... want cheese?
Me: Why, David?
David: Cuz he wanted... he wanted to put some milk on it!
Me: David... that isn't funny. Sorry. It's just not.
David: Yes... it is, cuz.. he wanted to put milk on the cheeeeese!
Me: David, it's still not funny. Go sit down.
David: He put milk on it and he's a goat and that's... that's why it's funny.
Me: David. Sit. Now.

What do you think? Funny jokes? Nope, didn't think so. I love Extended Care. I love the staff and it's so laid-back and I get to spend time with kids I never see otherwise. Since Bryce is a rascal now I hardly ever see him and Extended Care gives me a chance to hang out with him. He still loves me. :-) It's kind of fun to know that in order to get him to behave last session, his counselor threatened him with telling me and he cut the shit. He has some kind of tic disorder, like Tourette's but without the cursing and outbursts, mostly he just wrings his hands and blinks a lot and it's SO sad to watch him and know that he can't control it no matter how hard he tries. I only ever saw traces of it last year and he was with me all day every day. It's getting pretty bad. I hope he's still on medication. He's still a good kid, he just needs constant reassurance and positive reinforcement or he crumbles. :-(

There is some turmoil in my group. The main problem is this kid, Brendon. He's 7, lies and tells me he's 8 and 1/2. His cousin, Alex, is in our group too and was a big problem for the first 3 and 1/2 days but since yesterday afternoon, he's been great! I was realizing this afternoon, Hey I haven't yelled at Alex all day. But oh, I yelled at Brendon. He throws rocks, sticks, and rather than physically hurt campers, he verbally berates kids in our group. When I say "verbally berate", I really mean he says things like "wimp" and "you're dumb" and "I wanna kill nature" and the rest of my group, being 6 and 7 (And I have one 5 and 1/2 year old who's SUPERSENSITIVE) the other kids don't know how to brush it off and be like whatever dude. Instead they cry and tattle. What can I do? If I yelled at him every time he did that, I'd never stop. I just ask the kid, "Are you crying? Are you hurt? Are you bleeding? Then you're OK." Apparently this strategy is not effective in Madelyn's case because her mom called camp today and said that Madelyn comes home upset and says that she's being picked on. In all fairness, everyone in our group gets picked on. She's an easy target. She's smaller than everyone else, she's very princessy, and she's supersensitive. But she's adorable and friendly. I wrote her mom a note saying please please let me know if she continues to tell you she's having trouble because she's a great kid and I want her to have fun here and I'm doing the best I can to keep the boys in check. Boys will be boys... and piss ants sometimes.

I don't feel bad or weird that all I can talk about or think about is camp. That's an exaggeration, it's not ALL I think about. I think about Keith Urban and the Red Sox too, haha. Tonight, I realized that there is not "unsketchy" way to transfer alcohol from one person to another. Adam did me a huge favor by getting a friend's brother to get it for him and he, in turn, would give it to me. I come back up to my room around 9:15 and have 2 missed calls from him and 2 voicemails. The second one was frantic. "Dana, I got it. I have nowhere to put it. I can't go to my house. Call me back when you get this." I could hear him panicking so I called him and suggested he go to Nicole's house since she lives in the same town as him and as I imed her to ask if that would be ok with her, he rang her doorbell. Nicole, I'm STILL sorry that we threw you into that, it'll be worth it! I ended up driving to Unionville to meet him in the parking lot of a Friendly's and we were both looking over our shoulders as we made the switch. Sketchy. Can I please just be 21 and get it myself?

17-1 Red Sox. Good job, David Wells, even if you are a fat, drunk, slightly burned out jerk. You still pitch pretty well. We'll see what happens tomorrow.

I'm happy. It's good. Peace out.